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Date: 9 February Relationship Counselling Works for St
Valentine's Day Adults in Scotland are today encouraged to access relationship counselling if they are dreading St Valentine's Day rather than looking forward to celebrating it. Mary Toner of Scottish Marriage Care (SMC) points out that although lots of adults are put off by the commercialisation of the day, it is important to recognise that any relationship needs to be celebrated and the partners valued. 14th February is just one opportunity to do that. SMC knows that counselling works for couples of all ages and stages. People do not realise the damage caused by acrimonious relationships to individuals, families and the wider community. From research, SMC knows that many couples have had relationship difficulties for up to seven years before they seek help from counselling. This is a prolonged, distressing time for the adults, children and wider family. Helen (name changed to protect identity), a service user, is full of praise although she acknowledges that it took her too long to seek help but when she did: "It was a huge turning point in our lives. The counsellor made us both so welcome and very quickly it was obvious that no one was the 'bad' one. It was bliss for both of us to actually speak and be listened to without interruption. The counsellor also taught us the technique of really listening and hearing each other. Imagine nearly forty years old and learning about basic communication. A gift! Don't get me wrong it was very hard work at times and very emotional. One of the things I remember so clearly was the feelings of responsibility, and yes guilt for unconsciously putting our children through so much." Counselling does help unhappy
relationships by reducing stress and changing
negative behaviours. Relationship counselling also
reduces work absenteeism, improves productivity
and enables couples/individuals to take on new
skills and knowledge through the counselling
process. Relationships can be helped at an early
stage or when they have drastically deteriorated.
Damaged relationships do not need to end in
separation, divorce or acrimony. With the right
help from relationship counselling services,
couples can thrive individually, as can children
and wider family e.g grandparents. From research
and practice SMC also knows that children thrive
if the adult relationship is good even though the
parents may be separated. For further information, please contact: Mary Toner, Chief Executive Phone:0141-222 2166 |
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